Inside the heart

People, people people, there are people everywhere, especially in our country with huge population. We like some, dislike some, hate some, notice some, ignore some and love some. But how do we decide whom to like, dislike, love or hate? by looks

Someone told me that person must be good at heart to love or like them, whatever the looks may be, and if he/she is not good at heart, then he/she is not ok, simple. Agreed. But the real question is how do you know what is inside someone's heart? Is there any concrete method to find out? Can anyone help?

Need some replies...

to be continued...

My First Day at School

The above is picture of  a gate. This gate brings back so many beautiful memories of my School Life. Have passed from this gate for 10 years, from my childhood to adolescence. Still have a faint memory of my first day in this School. My father dropped me up to the classroom. That was the only time when he had entered my school building in those 10 years. Some of the kids were crying around when their parents were leaving them. I was little nervous but did not cry. My bench-mate on that day was a girl, with whose name my parents teased me for several years. I borrowed an eraser from her on same day.

How much do you remember from your first day at School?

Free Love - Last one

True Love

(This post is related to my earlier posts)

So should we love or not? Someone's hurt, someone's lost his life, someone does not care and someone had to compromise with her identity for the sake of love only. Then why must you love?

By all means love is must for us. For without love we are worthless, no matter how successful we are. When we are having a difficult time, a little bit of love can give us incredible amount of hope. Life becomes beautiful when we are in love. Isn't it?

The biggest mistake which most people do when they get love is they try to possess it, demand it and expect.  Love is like water, if you keep some in your open palm, it will stay there, but if you try to close your finger and try to possess it, it will seep out immediately. This sounds very easy, but it is difficult to practice. We have to learn to feel no expectations from ones we love, and yet unconditionally care. True love is unconditional. With no expectations you are free to love anyone.. :) Agree?

Free Love 4

Love

One more love story... of Ajay and Rhea.

Ajay was sitting with his friends at local Barista. They were chatting and enjoying their cappuccinos and Cafe lattes. There was a group of girls sitting near them. One of them, a very glamorous looking girl, caught Ajay's attention. She was wearing a short dress, with long boots and was pretty too. In short she was fashionable, beautiful. Their eyes met several times, and while leaving that girl smiled at him, like she knew what her effect on Ajay was. Ajay could not have even thought about getting a girl like her, but her smile gave him some confidence. He still did not know her name, but already started dreaming about her. He wanted to see her again and talk to her.

He kept visiting same Barista consecutively for next few days expecting to see that girl again. And he succeeded. She came to same Barista and noticed Ajay. This time Ajay introduced himself and chatted with her. Her name was Rhea. They had similar interests, both were outgoing persons, both liked travelling. Everything seemed perfect. They started meeting regularly. Before they knew, they were in love with each other. Ajay had proposed to Rhea and she agreed. He had never expected that a girl like Rhea can become his life partner. He was on cloud-nine the day when Rhea said yes. As their relationship matured, they planned to take it to the next level, Marriage. Fortunately parents of Ajay and Rhea also approved of their relationship and they got married.

Now after six months of marriage Ajay was changed. He still loved her a lot. He took good care of her. But he instructed Rhea on everything, from what to wear to where to go, whom to meet. He did not let her be like the outgoing sophisticated girl she used to. She had to dress conservatively, as per Ajay's choice and approval. Ajay did not approve of her meeting her male friends, even those who were her friends before her marriage to Ajay. Rhea was disappointed with the way things turned out. She tried to explain this to Ajay, that she was still the same girl whom Ajay liked and loved, but Ajay did not understand. She remained frustrated for some time, but later on compromised with herself to save her marriage and changed in to what Ajay wanted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is Rhea's compromise a good step?
In your opinion, can such a compromise work?
If not, what else could she do, considering she still loves Ajay?

Free Love 3

Love

Love research continues

From previous two cases, it seems that love is really a terrible thing. We must stay away from it as far as possible. Let us see one more example.-

One of my friends once fell in love with this girl. After going out together for some times, my friend confessed his love to that girl. Their conversation went like this.-

'I think I am in love with you,'My friend said to that girl.
'Oh really,' girl replied smiling.
'Yes, I think I am a different person I am with you. Life seems more interesting when I am with you'
She kept smiling, not saying anything
'So? what do you say about it, 'My friend continued
'So what?' She looked amused by my friend's confession.
'I mean do you love me too?' 
'Of course, I love you too'
My friend's irritation increased.
'Yaar, I have put my heart forward to you, and you are taking it so lightly. I am serious'
'It is not like that, I am also serious.  I love you, I have loved you since I saw you first time.'
Now my friend was more confused than irritated.
 'Are you pulling my leg now, first you stay totally indifferent to my confession of love, then you say you loved me since you saw me first time'
'No no, seriously, I love you, but it is not such a shocking thing for me, I have fallen in and out of love so many times, it happens. love is not something to be taken seriously'

My friend did not understand the concept of what the girl was saying. But he was happy to be with her and enjoyed her company. They were more comfortable with each other after the confession. They stayed together for sometime, till she had to go abroad. They kept in touch through mails, Facebook and occasional phone calls. After some time, my friend fell in love with another girl. He told me that he loved both of them. First girl also knew it and was happy for them.

These examples may not be from real life, but are very well inspired from real life events, and I am sure most of us will be able to relate such events where someones misses a loved one so badly that he is not able to love anyone else in the world and where someone who is not able to get the loved one looks to end his/her life. But very few with be able to relate to this example where both loved each other and even if they are not together they were happy.  This one is rare and strange. Isn't it?

Free Love 2

Love

Continuing my research on love. Lets us take another example.

A beautiful girl once fell in love with a boy who was her friend. She felt very good with him. Very soon, they started meeting regularly, went to movies together, were always seen together everywhere they went. They both confessed their love to each other. Both were very happy with each other. Boy took very good care of her, he made sure she was happy. He felt protective about her. She sometimes called him her "Bodyguard" in fun. Although they were already together, but now their relation was defined. They were now Boyfriend-Girlfriend. This definition of relationship gave both of them more rights over each other. Now they had to meet everyday, and if not meeting they had to talk everyday, especially at night.  

One day, it was girl's last exam of the final year. She was busy whole day with studying and exam, could not call or meet the boy. As it was her last exam of college, her college friends made a plan to go out and have fun to celebrate. She went out with her friends for a party and had a great time with them. With party and friends, she forgot to call the boy and did not even check her phone. When she checked her phone next morning, there were many missed calls and texts from the boy, who obviously missed her. She immediately called him and apologized. Boy was furious, but understood after some time. Slowly with time the boy's possessiveness increased, since he loved the girl so much that he could not spend a minute without her.

But it was not same with girl, she did not like his possessiveness and decided to end their relationship. She wanted to remain friends, but did not want them to be as Girlfriend-Boyfriend, but boy did not accept. This had hurt him badly, he called the girl many times but she did not take his calls, as he was bent on continuing the relationship. 

How can she leave him, who loved her more than anyone in this world, he thought. He tried a lot to convince her to come back to him. But she had moved on. Finally day came when he decided to end his life. He did not find life worth living without the girl in it and committed suicide.

Now, the boy loved girl more than anyone else in the world, and even ended his life for her. And his love actually not only hurt him, but took his life? so is love dangerous? If anyone is madly in love, we should stop him/her, because it may kill? Why did the "heart-less" girl let him die, for they once loved? 

to be continued...

Free Love 1

Love

Hmm, so we are talking about love. The love has many dictionary translations. The one I am discussing here is the "Romantic Attraction" part of love. It is the feeling of affection for someone. It is also said that this feeling called love brings the fear of loosing the person you love.

Let us take an example of love.-

There was once a person, who loved his wife a lot. One day his wife died. He cried day and night in the memory of his wife. He badly missed her. He was so depressed after her death that he did not like to do anything at all. He kept lying in his bed all day. He did not like to talk to anyone. Sometimes even his weeks went by without talking to anyone. This began to affect his complete life. His family and friends also got affected by his indifferent behavior. His friends and family advised him to get remarried as he was young and had all his life ahead. But he refused to remarry as he still missed his wife.

So what is your opinion about his extreme love for his wife? Is it true love?

to be continued...

Free Love

Love.

I am sure anything I will write about love will already be written/thought by someone somewhere for it is one of the most studied topics of the world. 

Most of us are taught that love is to be taken very seriously and one in love may get hurt. One may love persons, things or places or times. With love comes the fear of loosing that person, place or thing whom we love. In case we do lose, we are hurt, get depressed and in some case do not like anything else in this world for some time. 


If this all is true, it is advisable that one should not love at all! why should we love when we have risk of getting hurt or depressed?

to be continued...

Indian Change Seekers

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/The-underage-optimist/entry/open-letter-to-the-indian-change-seekers


Please read the above blog. I totally agree to Mr. Bhagat, without including the "fours", we cannot have a change. We need to approach them and convince on the change. These "fours" also must be brought forward and listened to.

The huge protests in Delhi and all around India may still not have reached this class or properly understood by them. Whereas as informed by Mr. Chetan Bhagat, they constitute 90% of us. Without including them, a change is really unimaginable. Just like we do not bother about them and take them granted. They also will not care to understand what change we require. They will continue to support the "unlawful lawmakers" and hence no change, no economic liberty, no opportunities. 

For example, most of us do not respect our domestic helpers, we pay them very little and expect a lot from them. We take them totally granted. The monthly income for most of the maids (Kamwalis, as we call them) is less then what we pay for watching a movie. 

What should we do then? One of the things as I have informed in my earlier blog "Teach English to everyone" (http://fouryugas.blogspot.in/2013/01/teach-english-to-everyone.html) is on the same line, by teaching them little bit of English, we can save them from lot of problem and we can improve our communication with them and in fact get more useful output from them. This will mutually beneficial to us. 

Further we never ask these people anything about their other works and family. Basically, we do not connect with them. This whole class is alienated from rest of us. We must be in touch and show them that we care a bit. There always will be some exceptions, but most of them will respond positively to the little respect/recognition given to them. Maybe when you make an effort to connect with them, they will get surprised initially, but in the long run with positive attitude all around, they will understand and connect with us. Only then we can think of bringing a change in our society.

Happy Lohri

A very Happy Lohri for everyone. May the holy fire of Lohri burn all the negative things and bring new positive energy to our lives.

Lohri Festival

Friends

from my memories...

Vikas was my best friend. His house was at about 5 minutes walking distance from my home. I remember after school or on Sundays, we spent most of our time together. We used to tell each other everything. Even if I got a new pencil, we would celebrate it together. 

Many years ago, may be when we were in 5th or 6th class, it was my birthday. Evening party was planned, where all my friends from the "Galli" and some friends from school were expected including Vikas. Before party, I was already with Vikas as usual. Those days we both had our bicycles. That day also we were roaming around the sector on our bikes. I had an old second hand bicycle and Vikas has the new Ranger bicycle. Maybe because it was my birthday, Vikas let me ride his bicycle and rode mine. I was enjoying the new bicycle, while Vikas was on the old one. Then it happened. We were crossing the dividing road and suddenly a loud bang startled me and I looked back. Vikas, who was on my bicycle was hit by a motorcycle. Motorcycle guy also fell down and both Vikas and that guy were hurt. I rushed to Vikas, thankfully he was able to stand and walk easily, but my bicycle was now badly bent. Being from middle class families, a bicycle meant a big thing for both of us. I was afraid that my parents will get angry if they come to know of the bicycle's fate.

Vikas helped me that day. We went to a roadside cycle repair shop. This road side cycle mechanic was actually a guy studying for Engineering Entrance exam and wanted to raise money for his books and coaching. He looked at our cycle like a Doctor in the Emergency Ward of a hospital sees a seriously injured patient. We explained him the situation and he took about 1 hour in repairing it. He had to open everything, straighten and reassemble the whole bicycle while replacing some bearings also. Vikas paid him about 30 Rupees, which was a big amount that time, especially for School kids. It was a big decision on part of Vikas. Maybe my parents could understand and not get angry on us for this accident, but I was quite scared in view of my father's usual anger. However that day Vikas saved me, he saved my Birthday. Later on he came to the party also, with my birthday gift. :)

Land Line Phones

from my memories..

I have done all my schooling from a single school and never had to change it. Although I had many friends in school, but three of us were the best ones. One wrote stories with me, other one gave me a lift to school every day on his Hero Ranger cycle. When the school was completed, we made a pact that whatever happens we will meet each other thrice every year, on each one's birthday. We followed the pact for few years. Now since we all are in different parts of the world, it is not practically possible and moreover we have lost touch. 

When  we were about to complete our 10th class, sooner or later we all had land-line phones at our homes, which was a great thing to own at that time. Through Land line  phones when we called our friends, we had to talk to each others families also. This way we kept in touch with each others parents and siblings also. The family values and culture came naturally to us. Whereas now with mobile phones it is so easy to talk to a friend. You just send a short text message to him/her directly and the message is conveyed, no one else has to know. Earlier you will have to talk to your friend's mother, brother or sister, say hello to them, ask them how they are, and tell them what is going on with you.This way you become friends with all of them and this encourages family culture and respect. Parents always knew who their kids are going out with.

One more interesting thing about those land-line phones. For our early morning walks, we had a Phone ring code system to call each other without disturbing others. If I woke up earlier (which I did mostly), I will give a small ring on my friends phone, and if he gets up and is ready to go for walk, he will send a small ring back to confirm. No call charges to be paid, free communication. :). However this system sometimes failed when I got up early and reached our usual meeting spot for early morning walk and my friend sleeps again after sending confirmation ring.

At one time, since I loved to write, I had sent my address to a local news papers "Pen Friends" column. Even when the phone number was not published, people (mostly girls ;) ) got the number from the directory and used to call me. It was really fun (for a while) to talk to some of them. Before that phone used to ring for me only on rare occasions like my birthday or calling for their birthday, or annual Diwali and New year wishes. 

Teach English to everyone

Today I had to go to a hospital to registration my father's name for consultation with ENT Doctor. The registration starts at 08.00 AM. To avoid long lines I had to reach there at 07.45 AM. Considering my normal waking up time of 08.00 AM, it was a very tough job for me. I had to get up at 07.00 AM, which is coldest time of the day. Anyhow we all have to do anything required especially for our parents. Battling with the cold I could manage to reach there by 07.50 AM. There were already 5-6 people there. In front of me was an 68 years old man ( I could see from his card). He was elder than my father, but was very thin and I can say was not financially very sound. The lady at the registration counter started her job at exactly 08.00 AM (This is very appreciable considering govt facility).

When the old man's turn came, the lady had a look at his card, and looked at old man with disappointment and said. "Uncle ji, maine kitni baar kaha hai, ki din dekh kar aaya karo, aaj aapke doctor wala din nahi hai, card par bhi likha hai" (Sir, how many times I have said, that you must come after checking the days on your card, Today is not your doctor's OPD day). Turned out he had to come only on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays as mentioned on his OPD Card, and today was Wednesday. The old man was certainly very disappointed, just like me he also had to get up early and come here all the way battling the fierce chill and all was waste. I felt bad for him. Then he requested lady at registration counter to write the days in Hindi.

The above instance shows how important it is to learn English. No offense to our mother tongues and national  language Hindi. We must respect them. However still every Indian must have some working knowledge of English. It is not easy to convert all the systems in Hindi, even if we are able to do so at many places, it will keep us alienated from the complete world if we do not learn English. I think, with a little effort, one can learn some English like weekdays, Time, Amounts, so our people do not have any such problems.

Based on above I am addition another resolution to my new year resolutions - To teach one such person (like that old man) enough English which can save him from such unnecessary hardship.

New Year Resolutions

Wish everyone a very Happy New Year 2013. Lets enter the new year with new hopes, and learn from what we have got in 2012.

OK, So finally I have decided that Resolutions must be made even if you have failed earlier. (Ref: - http://fouryugas.blogspot.in/2012/12/new-year-resolutions.html)

Following are my commitments for myself for 2013.-

Will try to give priority to Personal life over Professional life.
Find time for myself everyday. 
Go for a vacation. 
Write everyday.

Recently added,  will try not to be judgmental.