Baliram

I don’t know why we all called him a ‘Dhobhi’ which means a washerman, he never actually washed any clothes, he only iron them with his bulky old coal press, and sometimes washed cars for some society members. He has an old table on which he irons clothes. Our dhobhi, Baliram is very cheerful person, about 30 years old, but looked older. His wife Madhu helped him and his five year old daughter Nimi played alongside while he worked. He had enrolled his daughter in the local Govt School and was very proud of her when she sang English poems to him, though he did not understand a bit, but was very proud of her. Considering his situation, I respected him for what he was doing for his family.

He was not always this cheerful, he was a very silent person, never speaking anything other than telling the money due for ironing clothes and sometimes he had a discussion with my mom when he had to increase the rate per cloth.

About Seven years ago...

‘Rahul, please see who’s at the door’ My mom said.

I checked the door, and it was Baliram. ‘Mumma, It’s Dhobi bhaiya’.

‘How much?’ My mom came and asked Baliram after he handed over neatly pressed stack of clothes. Baliram was very thin boy of 23 at that time.

‘38 Rupees, Auntie ji’ Baliram replied

‘How? For 15 clothes at 2 rupees and 50 paisa per cloth, it is 37 Rupees and 50 paisa, not 38 Rupees. You always do that, it is not right’. Baliram did not say anything, and took 37 Rupees from my Mom with 50 paisa to be adjusted in next lot.

‘Auntie ji, I am going to my home for one month’ He said slowly introducing the neighbourhood Society Dhobhi as his replacement, ‘He will be ironing in my place, till I come back’

‘One Month. Why? Is everything alright?’ My mom looked concerned, he usually went home in March or April, when it is Holi time.

‘My family is alright, auntie ji, they have found a girl for me and I am going for my marriage’

‘Wah-wah, thats good, wait let me give you something’ My mom who was negotiating earlier for 50 paisa gave him 50 Rupees as shagun. After all, Marriages always cheer up Indian women.

Rare thing happened, Baliram shyly smiled for first time in front of us. He thanked mom and left. He was actually happy to get married I guess. As informed he came back in one month, this time with his wife, Madhu. She was not very fair, was slightly plump, but even as a child I could say she was the best Baliram could ever expect as his wife.  He increased his ironing rate. Madhu, started working as a maid in two flats of our society besides also helping him in delivering clothes and sometimes cleaning the ash from that bulky iron and adding the new coal. Baliram also took good care of his Madhu. His life was going smooth.

My school rickshaw used to come to pick me with several other kids of society everyday at 7.00 AM. Our Rickshaw puller was slim man about 30 years old, his name was Masseeh. Masseeh was also from Uttar Pradesh. All kids used to call him ‘Rickshaw waley uncle’. He was very kind to all of us. Unlike Baliram he was quite talkative. He used to ask us about the day on our way back from the School. He also replied to our silly questions.

It was the cold Month of December in Chandigarh. We often did not see sun for one whole week or so. Our society was last in Masseeh route. He used to sit with Baliram close to small coal fire. Every other day Maseeh brought him coal from coal depot on his way back from our school, which saved Baliram’s time. In return Baliram offered him a cup of tea made by Madhu. After that it was time for Baliram’s afternoon nap on a jute carpet near his table, it was important for him as he worked till late night every day. Madhu went to one of the flats for doing their house work and Maseeh went back to his colony on his rickshaw.

One evening, at about 10 PM, Baliram knocked our door. He looked tense. That day, he was not there to deliver ironed clothes but to meet my father.

‘Uncle Ji, my wife is missing, what should I do? Please help me’ he said with crying like expression, perhaps since my family treated him nicely, he thought we could help. It was clear from his expression that he was genuinely disturbed.

‘What? When did you see her last’ My dad asked, thinking what he could actually do in such situation.

‘She usually came back at about 6 after working from Flat no 849, today when she did not come back by seven, Auntie ji of Flat No 849 told me that she did not come today.’

‘Baliram do not worry, she will be back, she may have gone somewhere else, Its only few hours, Even police do not register missing report before 72 hours. Did you fight with her today?’

‘No Saabji, we did not fight at all, she worked in Flat No 830 in the morning, then in afternoon she made lunch for me, even served tea to me when Rickshwa wallah came, then I went to sleep, when I woke up I thought she was at Flat No 849 as usual. Saabji she never went anywhere alone.’ This time his eyes were teary.

‘Ok Baliram, do not worry, let me see what I can do. I will talk to my friend in Police and they will surely find her. For now you go back and relax’

Next morning me and other kids were waiting for our Rickshaw waley uncle to take us to school, who normally came at 07.00 AM sharp every morning, even when I sometimes wished him not to come. If he was late sometimes, my dad used to call him on mobile to confirm his location. Someone had given him an old mobile phone to keep track of him and it monthly expense was part of his charges. That day he did not come at even 07.15 AM. My dad called his mobile number, and it was switched off. It was good news for us kids, we had already made plans for playing throughout the day, it was half day carrom at my place and then a Ludo marathon at Priya’s place. I thought finally my prayers have been answered. But our Dads spoiled our plans, and dropped all of us to school in their cars themselves, as it was a Saturday, and most of them had their day off from offices. I asked God to be more careful next time while granting my wishes, he has to take care that there should not be any other option for sending us to school.

          That afternoon my dad and mom both came to pick me up from School. They were talking about Madhu and Maseeh.

‘I do not believe Madhu can do this. She was very nice and kind girl’ My mom said.

‘Savita, these people have no morals or principals at all, they can do anything. Leave it’ My father showing no concern, and thankfully concentrated on his driving.

As Maseeh and Madhu disappeared together it was rumoured all around that that Baliram’s wife had ran away with Maseeh. Police also believed the rumour and showed no interest in find poor Baliram’s wife.

By next week we had another Rickshaw waley uncle for taking us to School, and for us life was back to normal. Only Baliram was alone and silent now. He did not talk except for telling the amount against ironing clothes. His smile which came with his wife was gone now. He concentrated more on his work.

This new rickshaw puller uncle was even more punctual than Maseeh, despite my prayers he always showed up on time, his rickshaw never got punctured, and we always reached school on time. Baliram was always busy ironing clothes. Even after one years since his wife left him, he missed his wife as he had kept her photo under the mattress where he kept the money change. It was a photo of him and Madhu in their wedding dresses.

One day when I returned from the School, I saw the group of ladies in the society around Baliram’s little work place. They were discussing something loudly. ‘This is the society of respectable people’, one of them said. ‘She must leave’, another said. This was strange but was not important to me as my favourite Chota Bheem was about to begin on Cartoon Channel in fifteen minutes and I had to change first. So I picked my school bag from rickshaw and moved up to our flat.

‘Madhu has returned,’ My mom said as we were enjoying out after meal dessert, which was custard that evening.

‘Madhu? Who?’ My father asked

‘Arrey, our Dhobi’s wife’

‘Oh, That’s good’ my father replied enjoying his after meal custard, while blinking his eye at me. From his reply it was not clear that my father was referring to return of Madhu, or his custard.

‘No, not good, she has come with her daughter, who is from that Rickshawala.’

‘What?’ My dad stopped eating the custard. He was definitely paying attention now.

‘Yes, and we all ladies of society have met and decided, that either Baliram has to throw this woman out or he himself move out with her, we cannot let this characterless woman stay in our society’

‘If Baliram is keeping her, then let her stay, why you are so much bothered Sarita. Where will he go if we throw him out’

‘Oh please Rohit, this woman can have bad influence on our kids. I just want you to talk to president tomorrow morning and get that woman out or... or I don’t know’, my mom’s ‘I don’t know’ meant you don’t know how dangerous I will be if you do not agree. Now even I was paying attention as this could mean no dessert in coming days.

Next morning, the society meeting was called and all members gathered around the Water tank. I also went with my dad. Baliram was called there. Women were standing in balconies, from where they could see the proceedings.

Our president, Mr. Chadda spoke to Dhobi,’ Baliram, your wife has returned with an illegitimate child. All the society members disapprove of her staying in the Society. You may send her back to where she has come from or leave our Society’. Baliram understood what Chadda was saying but did not say anything. Madhu was looking at the group from distance. 

‘We must give him at least a week’s time to leave’. My dad spoke. Considering last night’s conversation between my mom and dad, this was very dangerous for our daily dessert.

‘Rohit Ji, how can we let him stay here, with a characterless woman who ran away and came back with an illegitimate child’ Mr. Thukral spoke this time. Thukral uncle was generally very nice and soft spoken, but this time his tone was quite harsh. I think he was probably scared for his wife. He also turned to Dhobi and said, ‘Bhaiya, how can you take such a woman back, she ran away with a Rickshaw wala, have you no sense?’

‘Thukral ji, Baliram has been serving us for years. He may not have any place to go. We must at least give him time’ My dad spoke again. Now even the dinner was in danger. Why the hell my dad is speaking in favour of Baliram. I also liked Baliram, but not more than the dessert and dinner of course.

All the members starting talking simultaneously about how staying of Baliram with his wife is dangerous for the society. Finally Mr. Chadda spoke again, ‘Baliram, This woman has done no good to you. You have been with us for several years and we understand may not have any place to go, but you must not accept this woman and make her leave the society right now’

‘But I love her. I cannot let her go again.’ Finally Baliram said something.

Chadda and Thukral almost laughed. I felt bad for poor Dhobi. Society members could not understand that a Dhobi could actually love. They moved to his pressing table and started to throw it out themselves. Baliram ran after them, but he could not do anything. Madhu came to stop Chadda to pick the table, but Chadda, pushed her away.

‘Stop it’ My dad shouted this time. Chadda and Thukral stopped and looked at my dad in disbelief. My dad had never spoken much on society matters and always agreed with them for their decisions like hike in monthly charges, some society function etc. But this time he spoke. ‘You are not allowed to do that legally. This is Human Rights violation. We cannot compel him to leave his spouse’.

‘Who is going to defend this Dhobi, who is he anyway and why are you so bothered’ Thukral spoke. I could see my mom watching all this from balcony.

‘He has all the rights to keep his wife and business and I will defend him’, my dad replied firmly.

Chadda was shocked, he knew my dad is a good lawyer and can affect him in many ways. I was also surprised at my dad, but was happy he did that. Chadda cooled down a bit and spoke to all members,’ OK, so we cannot throw him out, but we all will boycott him and will not give him any work’ Everybody nodded, but Chadda’s Dhobi boycott could not be actually implemented as my dad supported and no one liked to iron their clothes themselves. In few days things were back to normal for Baliram.

That evening, as expected my mom was not in a good mood, she served the dinner but was not speaking much.

‘Sarita, you have made awesome paneer today’. My dad spoke. I thought Paneer was just OK, but don’t know why dad was praising it.

‘I know what you are doing Rohit. There is nothing special about paneer. You are just trying to butter me’ 

‘No, it is really good today, Is’nt it Rahul? ,’My dad said, winking at me. I understood the signal and said,’ Of course, Mamma it is really good.’

Since mom was not talking my dad spoke through me. ‘You know Rahul, your mom used to make this Paneer and bring for me secretly before our marriage also’.

‘Rohit, what are you saying in front of Rahul’ She tried a lot to hide her smile but could not and moved in to the kitchen. I knew Dad’s plan had started working. That is when I learned that compliments always work with women.

‘Sarita, where are you going’ My dad asked.

‘To make custard, what else?’ My mom replied.

Tension and Stress

Back from an awesome vacation. Still filled with beautiful memories of Hong Kong and much more than that the carefree time spent there. It took all my will power to get back into the office mood and join the work. This getting back in to the system will take some more time. Not even unpacked fully yet. During my last days of holidays, I was feeling a bit home sick too. The most I was missing was my car. Of course the public transport system of Hong Kong is very good as compared to India. But still the freedom of own car and movement is invaluable. 

So basically I am not happy staying at one place for too long. Hopefully I will get back into the routine in next few days.

When I joined back in office, I came to know that one of my colleagues was highly stressed over some official matters. He had even lost his appetite and was not even sleeping well. When I left he was a charming, sweet person with a jolly nature. Now he was looking so dull, eyes red with lack of sleep and smile was almost gone permanently. 

Of course, there is stress in all the professions. All jobs are demanding. A little bit of stress may be OK. But losing peace of mind over some office trouble is not. We must keep a watch on this. It is also known to all these days that stress is one of the main reason for many prevailing diseases. 

I would like to share my stress relieving method. Who knows, this might help you. Whenever something is bothering me, I think about  importance of that thing after a period of time. For example. - If today I am stressed about one big order being completed on time. Even after my doing my best something goes wrong and the order is not completed and company is at loss and I may have to face the management on the targets. Or if somebody is behaving bad with me today. How important will it be for me in 20 years time? For sure, I will not even remember it. And I keep this power of time in my mind, which saves me from stress most of the times.

It is also a good thing that the bad/stressed/tension times are forgotten much faster. Which is why most people when talking about their past tell about how good their past was, the School times, College times, dating times. They will not talk about any tensions or stress. If you ask any School or college student, they will be having much more tension than us (office going people). Fortunately with the power of time he/she will also not remember these tensions and remember only the good times.

Hope you all have tension free lives.



PS. There are exceptions.